t r u t h o u t - Anti-War Protesters Arrested Near Bush's Ranch

CLICK TO READ: t r u t h o u t - Anti-War Protesters Arrested Near Bush's Ranch

"A dozen war protesters were arrested Wednesday for setting up camp near President Bush's ranch in defiance of new local bans on roadside camping and parking...."

THE UNKNOWN CANDIDATE: Cindy Sheehan was not among those arrested as she had been called away on personal matters.

I imagine it went down something like this:

GEORGE: I don't want all those pesky protesters spoiling my Thanksgiving appetite. Git 'em outta here. All of 'em -- especially the Cindy somebody girl -- put her in jail and throw away the key. She's a nuisance and she's embarrassing me in front of all my red-neck, good 'ol boy neighbor friends and countrymen 'n all.

LACKEY: But, sir, it's Thanksgiving.

GEORGE: Yep and too bad about theirs--heh heh heh--guess they won't be gobblin' down any turkey this Thanksgiving. Heh heh heh.

LACKEY: But sir, how will it look--having people arrested for peaceful protesting -- right before Thanksgiving?

GEORGE: I don't give a gull-darn HOW it looks. I'm George W. Bush! I can do whatever I want. I can start wars whenever I want! I can torture people whenever I want! I can have people arrested whenever I want! And I want them outta here. Arrest 'em--Arrest 'em all-- Ya hear me? Git! Git 'em outta here! And you, too! Git! Git! I'm George W. Bush!! Ya hear me!?!

THE UNKNOWN CANDIDATE: Ok, so I took a little creative license toward nastiness. Heck, what am I apologizing for? You can't get much nastier than arresting citizens exercising their right to peaceful protest -- right before Thanksgiving!