The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease (STD).
The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect 'em)." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years.
Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, and an inability to accept responsibility for own actions.
A few of the many noted behavioural problems are: cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, and categorical all-or-nothing behavior.
Epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from an inconsequential but virulent little bush found in Texas.
(Thanks to E.L.--you know who you are--for this post.)