The Unknown Candidate: Cheney's Funny Valentine: A Heart Attack

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Cheney's Funny Valentine: A Heart Attack

Ok, that was below the belt. But Bushco's been hitting below the belt for over five years, so it's about time they get a few slings and arrows in their own sweet spots--in honor of Valentine's Day, of course.

Photo credit: One is a game bird. The other is a rich Republican supporter. Best not to confuse the two. (Thanks to Wonkette for this pictorial guide for the vice president.)

In case you haven't heard by now, the 78-year-old lawyer, Harry Wittington, wounded by Vice President Dick Cheney in a hunting accident suffered a mild heart attack Tuesday after a shotgun pellet in his chest traveled to his heart. Meanwhile, VICE was given a warning citation for breaking Texas hunting law; he failed to buy a $7 stamp required to hunt upland game birds. Double oops.

The Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, who issued the citation after investigating the shooting incident, found the main factor contributing to the accident was a "hunter's judgment factor" when Cheney sprayed another hunter while aiming at flying birds.

Not the first time this guy has been accused of having bad judgement. And, based on his failure to speak to the press regarding this incident, it's not the last.

Funny thing is, though Harry Wittington is a prominent Republican attorney, Molly Ivins says that by Republican Texas standards, Wittington could be considered a liberal.

Maybe that's why he was "accidentally" shot by the Neocon Vice? I know--below the belt. Couldn't resist.

Seems like neither could the late night talk shows. (Letterman: "We finally located the weapons of mass destruction and it's Dick Cheney.") And check out the blogosphere.

Even the White House, usually not one to poke fun at one of their own, couldn't resist getting in on the act. Bushie, who was greeting the burnt orange-and-white University of Texas champion football team Tuesday, inspired this comment from White House press secretary Scott McClellan: "The orange that they're wearing is not because they're concerned that the vice president may be there. That's why I'm wearing it."

Even Jeb couldn't resist taking a jab. Slapping an orange sticker on his chest from the Florida Farm Bureau, he joked, "I'm a little concerned that Dick Cheney is going to walk in."

Everybody, it seems wants to get in on the joke fest--except for the butt of the joke, himself, who has been burying his head in the sand in true ostrich-hawk style.

Love the way VICE jumps at the chance to take responsibility for his actions, don't you?

Seriously, I wish Mr. Wittington a speedy and complete recovery. I only wish the nation might be offered the same opportunity for a speedy recovery from the injuries inflicted on our nation and the world by this very evil, unfunny man and his cohorts.

Happy Valentines Day.