The Unknown Candidate: Deciphering Bush-Speak: Rule #1

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Deciphering Bush-Speak: Rule #1

"If they won't deny it, don't buy it."

Beware: The Disinformation Faction is operating in overkill, desperate to diminish the cornucopia of incompetency that has become the centerpiece on the Bush Administration table.

Don't be fooled again by the double-speak, the selective leaking, the half-truths-half-lies, and the plentitude of platitudes intended to placate you into submission, confound you into compliance, flummox you into frustration, or double-talk you into defeat.

To help you sort out the truthiness from the falsiness, keep this simple rule in mind: If, when asked a question like,

"Are you planning to attack Iran and is the nuclear option being considered?"

you hear anything other than a straightforward, unequivocal,

"No,"

you can be sure that the answer is,

"Yes."

To help hone your "Bushit" skills, read this recent Presidential Press Conference, paying close attention to the President's rambling responses to straighforward questions that rarely have much to do with the questions and never, ever give definitive answers.

Next, polish your new skills and learn from the best in a typical morning White House Press Conference, as Scott McClellan gets peppered on Iran, Libby, et al. by the Master Bushit Detector, the ever lovable Helen Thomas.

For Advanced Training, sprinkled with some much needed humor, try posing questions to "The Bush Press Conference Response Generator." It's a clever little gizmo posted by fridgemagnet.org.uk a little over 2 years ago. The amazing thing is that, without any updates, it's just as relevant today. Plus it's a hoot: You pose a question to Bushie, and he responds with his inimitable, non-responsive, rhetorical Bushit.

(Sigh) Some things never change.